I want to live on mission.

Wow so I haven't blogged since June! How crazy. Anyways today I'm thinking about my calling and who I am and what I want my life to stand for a lot, so this is really just a way to gather my thoughts in a hopefully coherent and tangible way - and hopefully I don't get so carried away and excited like I normally do when I'm typing that I forgot I'm not making sense.
I just really want my life to count for something... You know what I mean? I dont like any of us are here by mistake and this life is really about so mich more than us. that's why I just love the whole story of Jesus and who he says he is making me into: a fisher of men.

I really refuse to accept that we are only supposed to live and then die. I want a passion level for living that drives me to absolute and unrelenting extremes. I desire a life that makes a statement that is much much bigger than myself.

Now I have to say I don't always feel like this & why is that, Jesus? It sometimes feels like I am 2 separate people, one is incredibly selfish and me-centred, the other is ridiculously willing to count whatever the cost to see the gospel become real to people. I am so so mindful lately of what Jesus says in Revelation about not being lukewarm. He wants me either HOT or cold. It almost makes me cry that Jesus would rather I was cold towards him than somewhat interested, or mildly open to being used by Him. I read a quote in Phil Pringle's book the other day that said "God does not create the lukewarm and the mild. HE SPECIALISES ONLY IN THE RED HOT". This hit me very very deeply somewhere, because the experience of what I often feel towards God, the Bible, this life, seeing my friends receive salvation, is far below a fiery, smoking, red-hot and insatiable, burning desire. Yet sometimes it is. This week I am choosing to immerse myself in Jeremiah 20, Amos 2, Hebrews 12 and The Revelation Letters to let Jesus and His all consuming fire thrust me out into the world with a completely missional heart that is SO evident to others. Oh and aCTS!, where there are some truly breathtaking accounts of the fire of the HS touching circumstances. I pray this will become a reality all across this area. I pray for fruit that won't spoil, but that by the work of God's hands through His people that there would be lasting and permanent glory brought to his name. Love never fails. His love never fails. Our love shouldn't either.

Wow this got really religious really fast. In other news, I highly recommend Quattro cafe @ Erina, as well as the staff at Platinum Chiropractic, and keen for uni this week, although I really need to get to my readings!

Bye blog. Love drtw.